Why it's okay to just be okay

I live in the Netherlands where Dutch people aren't really in the habit to ask how you are unless they're close friends. When I lived in London and Sydney I would hear the universal question 'how are you?' several times a day.

My automatic response was always, 'I'm okay'.

'Okay' is good. 'Okay' is safe. 'Okay' obscures what's bad or mediocre about your life in two syllables.

And even when I was great, I would still say 'okay'. I didn't really want to discuss my wins with people who were only going to ask the question to play out social niceties. That seems like bragging in a sense. So it seems like 'okay' is the universal code for 'whatever'.

Today a friend asked me how I was doing. In usual fashion I responded with an 'okay'. He said, 'if your life is just okay, you're doing it wrong.'

Well that got me. For a little time I thought about whether I was settling into a low period of my life. Some things were good. but others? Not so good.

But then I decided that he was wrong. It's okay to just be okay. If life was fabulous all the time we'd be exhausted from the constant serotonin rush. I would be forced to take a week-long nap from the fabulousness of it all. Likewise, if life was terrible all the time, well - that's not optimal either. You need the bouts of mediocrity to balance out the lows and highs. The trick however, is to learn to determine when your highs are really highs and when your lows are really lows. Dropping toothpaste on your shirt isn't really going to classify as living life in the lows. But here's where perspective comes in: when you drop toothpaste on your shirt after a long day dealing with a difficult client and your partner just broke up with you...well yeah, you're in a low patch. Likewise when your dad just announced he's found a new girlfriend and your colleagues complimented your outfit - well they may not be the highest of highs, but those are definitely wins. I think in our times we're really focused on making progress - like stagnation is worse than doing badly. You always have to be seeking promotions, pay rises, new holidays, new outfits, better bodies, new looks. It's exhausting.  And I think it's fine to take some time to tread water.

So next time someone asks you how you are, take a moment and work out for yourself how you really are. And if you realise you're in a place where you're just okay...that's okay.