Excuse me while I unpack some body 'issues'.

Trust me, I was not this relaxed. 

About a month ago I went to a day spa.

It was freaking glorious.

There were eight different types of saunas. There was a salt cabin that I may have passed out in. A colour therapy cabin that made me feel like I had dropped some acid. A steam room that smelt like roses. And one bizarre cabin that had you sit in front and behind these infrared heater things that made you feel like you were being slowly grilled alive.

Before I experienced all of them, I didn't realise there were so many ways to sit around oozing sweat.

There were jacuzzis everywhere, and little Dead Sea bathtubs that made you feel like you were back in the womb. There was an indoor and outdoor heated pool with a view so beautiful I almost cried.

And now I get why fancy ladies drop a shittonne of cash to go to these places.

Basically, I had the perfect day.

Except for the fact that I had to be naked.

Completely and utterly in the nude.

And that caused a whole lot of issues about my body.

So here's my stance on the whole female body bullshit. If your body works and you think you're fit enough to survive a zombie apocalypse, you're good. If you're wheezing after going up one flight of stairs, you should probably do a sit up or something. That's it. All that shit about thigh gaps and bikini bridges makes me want to lie down and eat a donut. When I was younger I used to care a lot about how I looked. I did lots of exercise and ate very little and cried when boys didn't buy me drinks at bars. I was also miserable. Then I got older, fatter and gave less fucks. It's great. But that attitude flew out the door the second I realised I had to throw off that fluffy bathrobe and get into a jacuzzi with a bunch of random naked men.

The first few hours were nerve wracking. My friend and I spent most of our time in the dark bath pods, hiding from everyone. About an hour after hiding in the less well-lit areas, we decided to just venture out into the open and see what would happen.

Newsflash - nothing happened.

No one stared, no one made faces at us. No one had any shits to give. Even when my boobs were bobbing around in the jacuzzi, not one person gave me an extended glance. It was a revelation.

The more I realised that people were only focused on themselves and not on me, the more bold I became. I stopped walking from place to place in my towel, I spent longer in the well-lit areas, I actually began to enjoy it. By the time we left I was annoyed at the prospect of putting on clothes.

I came away from that experience with the understanding that everyone has a right to an opinion on your body, but only you have the right to take that in and make it into an issue.

Also - people care way less about how you look than you do. Seriously. We are all so wrapped up in our own bullshit we don't have the time to make extensive judgements on other people's bodies.

So I'm planning my next visit to the day spa soon. If you're considering going but you're worried about judgey people, don't be. We're all too busy judging ourselves.

x