For My Friend.

When someone you love dies it's a tragedy.

When that person is young it's doubly heartbreaking. You've not simply lost a friend, you've also lost a the opportunity to craft a future creating memories with that person. They're simply gone, forever encased in your memory at the twilight of their youth.

Once you get over the shock when you first find out, you think that the pain will dissipate little by little, like tearing a pice of paper in half over and over again. And just when you think you've recovered a bit, another blow happens and the breath is knocked out of you. Like when you have to correct yourself when you refer to them in the present tense.

And suddenly, you're back at the beginning again. In pieces.

This post is dedicated to a good friend of mine who passed away recently. She was 26.

She was charming almost to the point of caricature. She conveyed a sense of naivety that endeared her to everyone who knew her. She was the most elegant person I knew. When I think of the phrase 'je ne sais quoi' I think of her. She was the very embodiment of that saying. Girl knew how to look good. I'm not lying when I say I've walked behind her when she entered a room and watched as every eye followed her. She had such presence and she knew it.

And she was so beautiful on the inside. When she spoke to you it made you feel like you were the only person in the room. She really cared. And she was so incredibly engaging. She could enchant you with her stories as quickly as she could take a sip of her champagne. She always had stories. She always surrounded herself with people that took her to amazing places where they did amazing things. I was always in awe of that.

The last time I saw her before her death I told her that every really fun time I had ever had in Europe was with her. It's true. When I think of all the fun madness that the past two and half years have brought, it's always been with her. She was that person that guaranteed you a good time based entirely on the sheer force of her personality.

So I will live and love generously, the way she did. I want to feel the blood course through my veins and the highs of life to lift me up in joy. Because she can't do that and I can and I'll be damned if I let another day pass without being incredibly grateful that I'm alive.

I don't pray often. I'm so lucky because I don't have a lot I need to pray for. But I will pray for her. I hope she's in a happier place. A safe place where her light can shine unhindered.

RIP beautiful.