Haiku Poems about London

'I moved to London

for the warm weather and sun'.

said no-one ever.

Please don't breathe on me

Yucky old man on the Tube.

I don't want herpes.

Hipsters in the east,

It must be so expensive

to look so homeless.

Full English breakfasts

are delicious heart attacks

served with bad coffee.

But I don't get black pudding.

Don't tell me what it's made of,

that will make me barf.

It still delights me

that you can buy booze in Tesco,

Cheap wine for the win!

I am terrified

of school children in London.

They know things I don't.

Like how to snatch bags

and how to hot wire a vehicle.

Please don't look at me.

I'm obsessed with jars

of delicious Polish food.

Makes me fat and happy.

Sitting at the top

of double decker buses

feels like flying high.

I hate it when men

call out to me on the street.

Please leave me alone.

Infernos, don't go -

meat markets are less intense.

But fun when you're drunk.